A Tale of Two Clients

I’ve written about the time I went to a client’s office just after I broke my leg, when I couldn't get into the bathroom because there was no way to open the door while on crutches. Frustrated, I looked around and noticed there were no gender-neutral bathrooms either.

I brought this up to their DEI lead. She lowered her voice.

“I know,” she said to me quietly.

“But the most embarrassing thing is that we just built a new building in another city with the same problems—no accessible or gender-neutral bathrooms. Brand new. We haven’t even moved in yet!”

I was shaking my head along with her.

“I asked someone in human resources about it,” she continued, “and they said that the operations people didn’t even talk to them. Either their team or mine would have brought these issues up if we had just been asked.”

I was remembering this exchange recently when working with another client: Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge.

They’re a cemetery and a garden, a National Historic Landmark, an “urban oasis” full of peaceful greenery and historic monuments.

They’ve embarked on a visioning process as they approach their 200th anniversary. They’ve hired landscape architects and architects to help, of course. But they also want to put a DEI lens on all of it.

The space is free and open to the public every day of the year—but is it truly welcoming for everyone? Looking around, you see groups of mostly older, white women enjoying the gardens. Why are other people in the neighborhood walking by the gate?

I am excited to be working with them. I can see their process is inclusive, which is the key.

It’s about hearing from different people inside your organization, from different levels and different backgrounds. Whether it’s through a survey, affinity group interviews, or general focus groups, your people can tell you what they need and notice if you create a space and ask them. You can take a similar approach to information gathering with neighboring individuals, organizations, and associations.

As I was walking the grounds of Mount Auburn Cemetery, making observations about signage, languages, and accessibility, I was grateful to be working with them on a visioning process that employed a DEI lens from the beginning.

And I remembered the client with the brand new building without inclusive bathrooms.

They evidently missed this step.

And so did the building’s designers. An architecture firm should have an internal DEI function—if not a full department, at least a checklist. If you’re designing for people, shouldn’t you be thinking about the needs of all people, not just those who are able-bodied and cisgender?

A Post About What To Post

What should this post say?

Is my voice important right now?

How can I keep from hurting someone with what I say—or by not saying anything?

The human suffering in Israel and Gaza is horrifying. My heart breaks for those living in the region. I have opinions on the conflict—but not any friends or family there, nor religious or cultural affiliations that would ground those opinions. So what gives me the right to share anything?

And yet, the very fact that I am not personally affected by the violence prompts me to reflect. As I watch the news from my home and worry over a blog post, I have to acknowledge my privilege:

• I go to bed at night with an expectation of safety. I’m not worried about rockets, invasions, or kidnapping.

• When I wake in the morning, I’m pretty sure I will have access to food, water, electricity and healthcare.

• As upsetting as it is to witness the nightmare, I’m not worried about my loved ones in the region.

• I am not living in fear of being personally impacted by the increasing anti-Semitism and Islamophobia here in the United States.

Ultimately, I am a bystander to this conflagration. As a DEI adviser, I am noticing a lot of tensions for leaders and employees in workplaces:

• The expectation that organizations will make a statement

• Disappointment in the substance and/or tone of the statement

• The challenge of talking about the conflict at work

• Anxiety of saying the wrong thing

• Fear of being ostracized or demonized

So, rather than offering any insights about current events, I’m going to stay in my lane and share a few suggestions for navigating this moment in your organization:

• Managers and HR and DEI professionals—check in with your employees who are Jewish, Palestinian, and/or who have connections in the region. This is a stressful time and they may need your support.

• This is a good time for all of us to be mindful when we speak. Words matter. They can enlighten, comfort or cause harm. Avoid using language that dehumanizes whole groups of people.

• Believe someone when they tell you that your words caused them harm. Remember that your intent may be benign, but your impact matters more. Apologize.

• Conversely, if someone says something that lands on you badly, ask for clarification before assuming they meant harm. What did you mean by that? Why would you say that? Do you really feel that way?

Above all, this is a moment to extend grace and compassion to one another.

How Do We Keep This Going?

“How do we keep this going?”

A participant recently raised this at the end of one of my workshops, when I asked the group to list things they wanted to learn more about.

This question is on the mind of everyone who cares about making our society more equitable.

How do we keep this going? A particularly good question when many organizations appear to be disinvesting in DEI.

My answer? Embed DEI in your regular business practices. Put a DEI lens on everything you do. DEI work requires engagement at every level: the C-Suite, HR, middle managers, and individual contributors. “Keep it going” by keeping people thinking, talking, and engaging in these ideas between big projects:

• Add one thing to the agenda of your weekly department meetings: a DEI success story (did anyone do something recently that impacts inclusion or equity?) or a DEI challenge (did someone navigate their own bias or experience a microaggression?).

• Support your affinity groups or DEI committee in arranging a regular lunch and learn—to gather and discuss a book, article, video, or something important to a member. It doesn’t have to be huge. Inclusive workplaces are built on trust and relationships. Giving people consistent opportunities to hold conversations about differences keeps those muscles strong.

• The DEI line items may be shrinking, but keep hold of a modest budget for activities. Bring in an outside speaker, offer an employee outing to a play, or just provide a meal or snacks at the DEI events.

• Breaking down biases means opening up our social circles, so find ways to incentivize mingling. Offer free lunch to employees who don’t know each other to share a meal.

Use your sphere of influence to keep equity and inclusion in the foreground—even if you don’t use the words “equity and inclusion.” And no matter what enthusiasm, or lack thereof, you perceive around you, you always have control over your own time. Invest in your own development—do your own work—and share what you are learning and why it matters to you.

The question “How do we keep this going?” makes me optimistic.

Not just because of the words “keep going”—but because of the “we."